Spring has sprung. The grass has riz. I wonder where the birdies is.
There has been a lot going on since my last entry. Most notably, Linda and I are living together now rather than running two households. Linda and I cleared all her belongings from her condo and she already has her condo leased for one year. Amalgamating two households is a lot of work! Some hard decisions had to be made. We did not need eight frying pans, two couches, six beds, or ten dressers. Fortunately, our children were able to make use of our surplus. On the May long weekend, we had a garage sale to pare down our belongings. Furthermore, we have been selling items on Kijiji and Buy and Sell for months. The move has gone well and we are enjoying life together.
In other news,
1. Our family trip to Phoenix in April (My girls call our yearly vacation "#forcefamilyfun") was a great time. Friends of Linda rented their house in Maricopa to us. The house was ideal because there was plenty of room and a large backyard pool. The weather was hot so we made good use of the pool. We also attended a Phoenix Coyotes game and spent an evening at Top Golf.
2. In May, we interred Mom's ashes beside Dad's ashes at the Kelvington Cemetery. I officiated the service. The service was as follows:
Welcome: On behalf of all my siblings I would like to Thank everyone who has taken the time to be here today to say Good bye to Irene Agnes Sick/Kolach/McConnell
Let us pray
For every memory of love and joy, every memory of life well-lived and every sorrow shared with us, we give thanks.
Heal any memories of hurt and failure
Give us the wisdom and grace
To use aright the time that is left here on earth, for the sake of love. Amen
Interments, funerals, and celebrations of life are sometimes mocked because some people come away feeling the kind words spoken and remembrances hardly resemble the dearly departed.
Mom didn’t want a ceremony to remember her passing. She simply wanted to be laid to rest. Well, this isn’t the first time we didn’t do what we were told to do. Sorry, Mom.
But this interment is something we need to do. It is necessary to remember and reflect on the remarkable life that was Irene Sick/Kolach/McConnell.
No one can say with certainty what happens when we die. We all have our beliefs which we stitch together with faith. What we do know is our earthly lives lives live on in the world we leave behind. We are all interconnected even with those who have died before us.
12:1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the avarice that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,
Whether you are aware of it or not, Mom influenced all our lives and we influenced her life.
The spirit of Irene lives on. Her strength became our strength. I have can bear witness to her influence in all our lives in many ways in grand ways and in many small, subtle ways.
For instance, this winter, I was shovelling Mary’s driveway. There was a three year old having quiet time and a baby sleeping in the house. Household chores were done. Instead of sitting in the house like a princess, Mary bundled up, grabbed a shovel, and leaned into the task at hand. It dawned on me that she was doing an “Irene”. I complimented Mary by saying, “Your Grandma Irene would be proud of you. You have her strength.
This poem by Merrit Malloy expresses a valuable sentiment that I feel must be shared.
Epitaph
By Merrit Malloy
When I die
Give what’s left of me away
To children
And old men that wait to die.
And if you need to cry,
Cry for your brother
Walking the street beside you.
And when you need me,
Put your arms
Around anyone
And give them
What you need to give to me.
I want to leave you something,
Something better
Than words
Or sounds.
Look for me
In the people I’ve known
Or loved,
And if you cannot give me away,
At least let me live on in your eyes
And not your mind.
You can love me most
By letting
Hands touch hands,
By letting bodies touch bodies,
And by letting go
Of children
That need to be free.
Love doesn’t die,
People do.
So, when all that’s left of me
Is love,
Give me away.
So Mom left us something better than words or sounds. She can be seen in the people she knew and loved.
I am going to close by sharing 5 life lessons that Mom gave to us in her 93 years.
You have to laugh at yourself. Mom could take a good ribbing and absorbed a teasing like a champ. We all imitated her “Irenisms”.
Take a Tie N All.
Call her on the cell a phone.
Oh, Ed!
Smarten yourself up!
Well!
They tasted Soooooooooo Good.
I don’t care if you have to pick shit with the chickens, you are going to get a job.
And there was the unending competition to decide who was the number one sibling.
We teased Mom mercilessly, and she would just roll her eyes and let it roll right off like water off a duck’s back.
2. There are expectations. You can do hard things. Although we may not have agreed with her methods, there was no doubt she had expectations of her children and grandchildren. She wanted us to be our best. Conversation on the way back from the garden.
3. You need to have fun. Mom always loved to dance. From the early days of barn dances at Tremblay’s Barn near Barrier Ford to wedding dances, New Year’s Eve dances, pattern dances and house parties to the last days when Mom would watch old time dancing on Saturday Night Dance Party on TV. You needed to work, but you also needed time to have fun and relax whether it was Sunday afternoon picnics at the lake, fishing, coffee with the neighbours, going to the Wheat Kings hockey games, or a vacation to the west, you need to take the time to have fun.
4. No one is perfect. We have all sinned and fallen short. There were times when Mom disappointed us and Lord knows there were times when we disappointed Mom, but she never stopped loving us even when loving didn’t come easy. In our heart of hearts, we never stopped loving Mom. Not long ago, I had a conversation with Paulette about our weird and wonderful family. Recalling our family history, it doesn’t take long before we are acutely aware of our faults and our failings and in some strange way we become more loving knowing we are all in need of forgiveness. We have all fallen short. I love each and every one of my family members. My children, grandchildren, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, my dad, and, of course, my mom. I loved her for her many gifts, talents, and abilities, but I also loved mom in her imperfection.
5. The last and perhaps most valuable lesson we can glean from Mom’s life is: You can do hard things. All through Mom’s life, she set an example of hard work, fortitude, and self sacrifice. She held it all together for our family. I can’t help but remember the early days on the farm when Mom would get her children ready for school, bake, prepare meals, clean house, milk cows, tend a large garden, can fruits and vegetables, wash clothes, gather eggs, and work at a grocery store. In the winter when the lane was plugged with snow, she would carry coals from the stove out to the car to heat the oil pan so the engine would start. In the spring, she would park the car north of Duck Creek Bridge because the creek would flood the road. Mom would have to walk over two miles and slog through the water to reach the 52 Chevy. Nearly half the year, Mom was a single parent because Dad worked in a lumber camp during the winters. From the time she was young girl until she was in her 90s, she was looking after someone. She worked hard. Mom was a force…a woman who said, “ I can do this.”
Commital:
At this time I ask everyone here to take the time to say good bye to Mom in a moment of silence.
Lord's Prayer
Now as we say goodbye I will ask Vince to place the urn.
This container that holds the remains of her body, that has borne her> all her life from birth to death, that gave her> breath to live and sight to see, that has served her> every need, that has shown you the beauty of her> unique person in its eyes and made you aware of her> presence in your heart, and without which she> would be a mystery to you; we now return to its source with the grace it deserves from us, without our attachment to it but with our lasting love for Mom.
3. May was also the month when we opened the trailer at the lake. Haley and Dustin have become golfers so Linda and I have enjoyed golfing with them at Memorial Lake Golf Course. Mary and Morgan have their camper set up in the campground at Memorial Lake from May long weekend until Labour Day weekend. Linda and I spend most weekends at the lake kayaking, golfing, and spending time on Dustin and Haley's wakesurf boat.
4. Gunnar has not learned to walk yet, but he has become quite mobile. He doesn't crawl. He bum scoots. Uncle Dustin calls him Lieutenant Dan. He continues to be a very contented little guy. Baby Buddha. Luvisa has turned into a junior entomologist. She spends her days at the lake capturing dragonflies, damsel flies (Luvisa pronounces 'dental flies'), butterflies, and other creepy critters. So appropriate her nickname is Bug.
5. Linda, Mary, and Haley took group lessons in gold during June and July. I was on grandparenting duty while they were at lessons. In 90 minutes, I would feed the kids, clean up the carnage, bath them, and get them into their jammies. Good times.
6. On the last day of June, I hosted a retirement party for Linda because she took a severance package from Saskpolytech. Linda's nephew (and family), two nieces, three of her five siblings, two inlaws, and my posse were in attendance. We had a beautiful evening for a backyard barbecue.
7. In July, Linda and I loaded up the kayaks and all the necessary gear for a travel vacation to Montana, Idaho, and B.C. We attended a wedding celebration on Flathead Lake, Montana, then drove to Post Falls, Idaho where we kayaked and hiked in the Coeur d' Alene area. From Post Falls, we traveled to Nelson, B.C. where we enjoyed more hiking, beach time, and kayaking. We had a great evening with Judy's cousin, Norma, and her partner, Doug. Norma reminded me to get on the ball and update my blog. People need to know about my illustrious life, haha. After three nights in Nelson, we traveled through Creston, Cranbrook, and Kimberly on our way to Invermere where we stayed one night. We went whitewater rafting at Panorama, then headed toward Calgary. On the way, we hiked Marble Canyon and stopped one of the beautiful rest areas that you find on highway 93. Our last stop was Calgary. We hiked the Douglas Fir Trail and had a visit with Linda's daughter, Erin, and her partner, Nathalie, who had come down from Edmonton for the weekend.
Now we are home and looking forward to a run of the mill August...playing ball, golfing, kayaking, biking, walking, morning workouts, weekends with the kids at the lake. Life is good.
