Sunday, 8 May 2016

May 8

I celebrated Mother's Day this evening with Haley, Mary, Dustin, Morgan, Audrey, Jordan, and Ashley.  Michelle and Nate had to work so we ate their burgers.  My contribution was burgers and buns.  Everyone pitched in for a potluck barbecue.

Yes, this was the first Mother's Day without Judy.  Tough day for the girls.  Haley started the day with posting pictures of Judy on Facebook.  Looking at pictures was a powerful reminder of a wonderful person and a reminder of the precious memories we have built as a family.  When the girls went to the gym, they saw an inspirational quote on the bulletin board.  Someone had garnished the message with a drawing of a diamond.  Mary said Judy had a hand in providing the drawing of the diamond.  I'm sure she did...some way, some how.

Earlier in the day, I skipped church for a change.  I did not want to deal with the elephant in the room on Mother's Day so I joined my aunties and uncle for breakfast at the Confederation Inn.

After breakfast, I tried unsuccessfully to install Mary's dishwasher.  Dang!  I didn't have right fittings. Next stop was Costco.  What a zoo!

I still had time in the afternoon for a walk and a brief siesta before my family arrived for supper.  When I was walking the trail, I greeted every person who looked like a mother with a "Happy Mother's Day."  That felt good.


January 09 Principal Message
            During the month of January, one poor teacher on Prairie View School staff will take on the challenge of explaining the virtue of self control to their own class and, in turn, to the whole school.  As I consider the challenge of teaching self control, I am reminded of a study done at Stanford University titled The Stanford Marshmallow Experiment.  Four year old children were placed in a room with a marshmallow in front of them.  They were told they could eat the marshmallow immediately, or could choose to wait for 20 minutes while the researcher ran some errands and receive two marshmallows.  The children were observed through a two way mirror.  About one third of the children impulsively gobbled the marshmallow immediately.  They were aptly labelled “impulsive”.  One third of the children delayed gratification for 20 minutes until the researcher returned and were duly rewarded. 
            At the age of 18, the same children were given the SAT, a standardized test used to determine college admission.  The impulse controlled group scored dramatically higher than the impulsive group on verbal and math scores.  Furthermore, the impulse controlled children were more assertive, stress tolerant, self reliant, confident, trustworthy, dependable, academically competent, reasonable, and eager to learn.
            My daughters tolerate my preaching on the topic of delayed gratification.  Throughout their childhood, they often had a “bee in their bonnet” about desperately needing things and they needed them right away.  They didn’t appreciate the reminder that “good things come to those who wait”. 
            As parents, we sometimes feel guilty about not being able to give our children the best – right away!  Our children are masters at making us feel guilty because we don’t deliver things – right away!  Fortunately, I am incredibly cheap; therefore, I have become adept making my children delay gratification.  When my daughter wanted to go to a very expensive post secondary institution, I didn’t say, “No, you cannot go!”  I said, “Sounds great.  You better get a job and start saving in order to pay for the king’s ransom it will require to pay for the venture.”  My wife and I have always been there to guide our children, support, and help, but we have also taught our children to delay gratification.
            Can we teach self control?  I know we can and I also believe it is never too late to teach our children well.  At Prairie View School we use programs such as Second Step to teach children to identify their feelings, make good decisions, control their impulses, manage their anger, resolve conflict, empathize, build relationships, solve problems, and resist temptation.  We know parents, relatives, and community members believe self control is virtuous so let us all work together to teach and model the virtue to our children.



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