Yesterday, we had a very small family gathering at Woodlawn Cemetery to inter Judy's ashes. There were tears, hugs, and even a thoughtful smile or two. Audrey prepared a beautiful message for Judy and I officiated the interment. Mary suggested that we place a wine glass in the niche for sentimental reasons so a wine glass and a shot glass were included. I believe it was Dustin who suggested we should also include a cigar. Judy liked to light up with the sons-in-law when the opportunity presented itself. We didn't have a cigar so Judy will have to do without tobacco until the niche is opened again. After the interment, we went to Judy's favorite coffee shop, City Perk, to have a cuppa. The whole afternoon was an appropriate act of remembrance.
I have included my interment remarks below.
Here we have gathered in memory of Judith Anne Opheim(Kolach), so that we may together perform one final duty of love. As an act of remembrance, with reverence and love, we have gathered to place her ashes here not so far away from the neighborhood where it all began for this amazing wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend. In so doing, we trust that somehow what was best in Judy’s life will not be lost, but will live on in her children, family, and all who knew her.
Let us join together in the spirit of prayer and meditation, first by hearing familiar words from the book of Ecclesiastes, and then with a time of silence....
To everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven:
a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to reap;
a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
a time to cast away stones, a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to gain, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to throw away;
a time to rend, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.
So wrote the ancient prophet.
One of your mom’s favorite books of all time was Proof of Heaven. It was the first book I read after Mom died. The author, Eben Alexander, a neuroscientist was in every way dead and returned to life. He tells of his experience. He passed from the Earthworm’s Eye View to the Gateway to the Core where he was in the presence of God where he was taught many wondrous things about all that exist, such as the fact there are countless universes, but none of that knowledge mattered. The only thing that mattered was the knowledge that:
1. You
are loved and cherished.
2. You
have nothing to fear.
3. There
is nothing you can do wrong.
Love is without a doubt the basis of everything. The love Eben Alexander experienced in his
death experience was so wondrous that he could not express his feelings in
words. He said it was like trying to
write a novel with only half the alphabet.
However, the single most important lesson that he learned from his
experience, the discovery he wanted to share was the unconditional love and
acceptance he experienced in the Core.
To know that Judy is surrounded by love and resting in a wonderful place
where she is loved and cherished and without fear should bring us some
comfort. Perhaps this is the knowledge
that she gained by reading this book.
Perhaps this is the knowledge that helped her through the darkest time
of her life…the darkest time of our life.One of Judy’s favorite songs was “We Rise Again” by the Rankin Family. I think of this song often and I see that Judy lives on in our hearts and minds, but especially in the lives of Haley and Mary. Haley and Mary, you are a testament to the wonderful mother you know. She poured her love into you and now you continue her legacy in your life, your marriage, your relationships, and in your careers. Do you want to see what Judy stood for? Do you want to see what Judy valued? Do you want to see why Judy fought so valiantly to live? Look at Haley and Mary.
When the waves roll on over the waters
And the ocean cries
We look to our sons and daughters
To explain our lives
As if a child could tell us why
That as sure as the sunrise
As sure as the sea
As sure as the wind in the trees
We rise again in the faces
of our children
We rise again in the voices of our song
We rise again in the waves out on the ocean
And then we rise again
Now we place these ashes; what has come from the earth goes back to the earth; so the cycle of life turns yet again.
[Placement of ashes]
; earth to
earth, ashes to ashes, dust to
dust, in the
sure and certain hope of the resurrection to eternal life, through
Jesus Christ,
who will change our lowly bodies so that they will be like His
glorious body,
by the power that enables Him to subdue all things to Himself.
May God the
Father, who created this body, may God the Son, who by His
blood redeemed
this body, may God the Holy Spirit, who by Holy Baptism
sanctified
this body to be His temple, keep these remains to the day of the resurrection
of all flesh.
Having completed this final task, may we go forth in hope, with a measure of peace, so that we may live out our own lives with renewed memory and with deepened love for Judy and for one another.
May the truth that sets us free
And the hope that never dies
And the love that casts out fear
Be with us now
Until dayspring breaks
And the shadows flee away.
May the road rise to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
And the rains fall soft upon your fields.
Until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His Hand.
We have been blessed by Judy’s life; go in peace. Amen.
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